Girls Just Wanna Have Fundamental Human Rights by Alison Scott
Directed by Mark Stanley
Starring: Andraes Hunt, Sundi Lee, MaryAnna Nagorski and Cindy Lou Parker
(photo credit: Bryan Kaplun)
 — with Cindy Lou Parker and Sundi Lee.
I Am Trying to Steal Your Heart or Kali Maaaaaa!  by Michael Weems
Directed by Jay Menchaca Starring: Erin Connally, Sam Denomy, Megan Nix
and Whitney Zangarine (photo credit: Bryan Kaplun)
 — with Whitney Zangarine.
Cone-Man & His Spontaneous Friends – Episode 10: Chillin’ Like a Villain by Bryan Maynard Directed by Steve Carpentier 
Starring: Sophia Carraro, Ty Fisher, Bailey Hampton and Lance Zierlein
(photo credit: Bryan Kaplun)
 — with Ty K. Fisher,Lance Zierlein, Sophia Carraro and Bailey Hampton.
Sergio Tenwick’s Real Wild Animal Kingdom X-Treme
(in 3-D) by Nicholas Garelick Directed by Milo Michel
Starring: Jada August, Billy Chmielewski, Brit Garcia
and Melissa Huckabay 
(photo credit: John Carraro)
 — with Jada August,Melissa Huckabay and Brit Garcia.
 

Beacon Theatre's Smattering X Hams It Up To Help Teachers

By Glen Welch

In the inaugural performance of the new Beacon Theatre, Cone Man Running opened up with Smattering X, a one night only charity performance dedicated to helping teachers offset the cost of school supplies. Playing to a packed house in a double feature performance, the Smattering raised $3,000 for several different local schools to help ease the financial burden teachers are faced with. The audience laughed, the teachers were helped and the Beacon Theatre didn't suffer any structural collapses, it was a good night for all.

Nine comedies were presented, each written within 24 hours and hastily rehearsed, memorized and directed at a breakneck speed. Each play had a different theme and had to include a flashback, pick up line, injustice and a beach ball as well as be under 12 minutes long. As it was the definition of the rush job, sets were minimalistic, wardrobe malfunctions were the norm, and overacting was encouraged. The result was a well-natured mish-mash of different comedic stylings that ranged from slapstick to dark with some performances ranging all over the place with strong themes of female empowerment throughout.

The Smattering consisted of:

No, No, No! That's Not How You Mansplain! Here, Let Me Show You: A Hysterical Play by Elizabeth Grant. Set as a medical drama with copious amounts of mustachioed women trying pose as early 20th century doctors and their struggles putting up with a male medical student's Edwardian era mentality.

I Am Trying to Steal Your Heart or Kali MAAAAAA! By Michael Weems. An absurdist crime romp where two vixens try to seduce an oblivious security guard while their seemingly incompetent partner steals both the guard's heart and the painting. Extremely memorable for both Megan Nix's outrageous (and prize-winning, see the best use of prop) outfit including a beachball bra and pine cone air freshener earrings, as well as Sam Denomy's rebellious fake mustache that very obviously didn't want to be in the play. The play also won for best pick up line.

The Magnificent Olympic Games by Kris Thompson. This play won for the best genre and put the triple entendre right next to the triple axel as a sports term. This oversexed romp featured a pair of sports reporters interviewing contestants in the competitive love making Olympic trials. Sexual tension took the gold in this bawdy comedy.

Don't Shoot the Animals by Nick Pinelli. This Western took the flashback requirement of the Smattering into Groundhog's Day levels of absurdity. Featuring a gung-ho hunter, her hapless doppelganger, a nihilistic bear and a Minnesotan deer, the play loops several times as the flashbacks keep piling up in a timey-wimey mess, earning the play the best use of flashback award.

Girls Just Wanna Have Fundamental Human Rights by Alison Scott. The big winner of the evening, taking home awards for best correction of a wrong, best script, cast that had the most fun, best actress (with a deliberately cast against type Cindy Lou Parker) and best in show. The superhero parody won the audience over with its supervillain who fails at evil, a sexist superhero who longs for a time only he remembers, a kidnapping victim yearning for her own identity and a rival superhero making a name for herself.

Sergio Tenwick's Real Wild Animal Kingdom X-Treme (in 3-D) by Nicholas Gerelick was the documentary entry into the performance, where a Steve Erwin styled wild life host introduces us to the dangers of North American cat ladies and their Instagram obsessions.

Raunch, a Fairy Tale by Fernando Dovalina. The only all-male production, this tale of four exiled princes used every definition in Webster's of the word 'gay' as a check list. It had musical numbers, dance numbers, literally more male genitalia than they actually had actors, bad accents, good accents, and cross-dressing. Bryan Kaplun took best actor for his portrayal of the extra endowed Prince of Darkness.

Everytime a Monster Dies, a Demon Gets Its Horns by Conor Farrell. A twisted take on the Screwtape Letters, only this time the put upon demon is trying to redeem his charge into going to heaven as apparently, he's too much of a jackass even for hell. Hilarity ensues as the demon in question only seems to encourage the mortal by pointing out all the horrific moments in his past that put him on the path to damnation.

Cone-Man & His Spontaneous Friends- Episode 10: Chillin' Like a Villain by Bryan Maynard. The serial entry to the Smattering, and another superhero episode. This one was very much the most self-aware of the plays, as well as the most energetic. Featuring a villain that refuses to stay defeated as well as a superhero team in the middle of an existential crisis, this piece was filled with references to the theatre company and it's past performances.

BEST USE OF GENRE:

The Magnificent Olympic Games by Kris Thompson

Directed by Erica Chmielewski

Starring: Kacie Adams, Mary Andrechik, Cameron Banks

and Seth Cunningham

Genre: Sports - (Competitive love making? Really???)

BEST USE OF FLASHBACK:

Don’t Shoot the Animals by Nick Pinelli

Directed by Aimee Small

Starring: Kim McMillen, Helen Rios, Jason Jonathan Rivas and CarrieLee Sparks

BEST CORRECTION OF A PERCEIVED WRONG:

Girls Just Wanna Have Fundamental Human Rights by Alison Scott

Directed by Mark Stanley

Starring: Andraes Hunt, Sundi Lee, MaryAnna Nagorski and Cindy Lou Parker

BEST PICK UP LINE:

I Am Trying to Steal Your Heart or Kali Maaaaaa!

by Michael Weems

Directed by Jay Menchaca

Starring: Erin Connally, Sam Denomy, Megan Nix and Whitney Zangarine

BEST USE OF PROP - BEACHBALL:

I Am Trying to Steal Your Heart or Kali Maaaaaa!

by Michael Weems

Directed by Jay Menchaca

Starring: Erin Connally, Sam Denomy, Megan Nix

and Whitney Zangarine

CAST THAT LOOKED LIKE THEY HAD THE MOST FUN:

Girls Just Wanna Have Fundamental Human Rights by Alison Scott

Directed by Mark Stanley

Starring: Andraes Hunt, Sundi Lee, MaryAnna Nagorski and Cindy Lou Parker

BEST SCRIPT:

Girls Just Wanna Have Fundamental Human Rights by Alison Scott

Directed by Mark Stanley

Starring: Andraes Hunt, Sundi Lee, MaryAnna Nagorski and Cindy Lou Parker

BEST ACTOR:

Bryan Kaplun in "Raunch, a Fairy Tale"

BEST ACTRESS:

Cindy Lou Parker in "Girls Just Wanna Have Fundamental Human Rights"

BEST IN SHOW:

Girls Just Wanna Have Fundamental Human Rights by Alison Scott

Directed by Mark Stanley

Starring: Andraes Hunt, Sundi Lee, MaryAnna Nagorski and Cindy Lou Parker



   
 
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